World of grey
by Lil.KekZ
Summary: "In another time at another place, this would have been great." It was a moment worth for the world to stop turning, but it didn't. There was no monumental shift, no big bang. Nothing - like the nothing coming out of his mouth. DMxHG during 6th year and following
1. Prolog: Nothing

**Hey there readers, who stumbled upon this little story of mine!**

I will start with the end, kind of. To fully understand, I am afraid, you have to read the whole story :P  
I hope you will enjoy our little ride together and I am always happy to receive a few words, whether critical or not :)

(For the ones being interested. I've been writing to the following song, so maybe it fits best while reading. But then, this is just a proposal:  
Youtoube - amazing piano song - creepy picture where fingers come out of an eye)

**Disclaimer: **Here we go. In reality, I am Hermione Granger and this is my story. Nevertheless, it all belongs to the great J K Rowling. Still...

* * *

„I am done", was all she said.

Silence stretched while brown eyes got lost in a sea of stormy grey. Seconds, merely ticking away and the quiet seemed palpable, laced with a thick sort of tension, unspoken words hanging in the middle of two lost souls.

Her clenched fingers were buried in the fabric of her skirt and her heart raced, a steady rhythm echoing in her ears while she waited.  
And waited.

"You changed me, you know." It was her voice again, breaking the uneasy silence and she caught a glimpse of something flickering behind his mask, like a shadow of sadness gracing his otherwise stony features. But no word escaped his mouth.

"My world was all black and white. I got boundaries. I knew to discern good and evil. It was never easy, but I had my eyes set on a way. We" and she hesitated, thinking of her two best friends, one of them currently occupied by going on a deathly mission with the beloved headmaster himself, Dumbledore. "We have a path to take", she got on, trying in vain to steady her voice but lost.  
"But then you came. And you changed everything, Draco. My thoughts. My views. Me." The last word merely a whisper was drowned by her own rapid heartbeat and she willed him, willed him with every fiber of her being to answer. To say something. Anything.

However, he said nothing at all, so she turned.

It was a moment worth for the world to stop turning, but it didn't. There was no monumental shift, no big bang. Nothing, like the nothing coming out of his mouth and she felt the cold metal under her shaking fingers when she turned the handle.

"You are going, then?"

Cold words with a hint of desperation and there was no need for her to turn for she knew what she would see because she has seen it so many times she lost count of it. It was his face, set in stone, but his eyes that would betray his cool demeanor while giving a hint of the fear that was literally eating him alive. It was this expression that made her fall into his world of grey for the first time. It made her want to know. Know him and his secret.

"Would it change anything if I stayed?"

Silence was her only answer and it was sadness then, worming its way through her body and making her eyes prickle dangerously.

"You see." And the door opened, slowly, with a low squeak that was ringing loudly inside her head.

"If you`re going out of this door now, Granger, there's no way back."

"It's Granger again, is it?" she retorted with a lack of her usual bite. "Tell me, Draco, what do you want me to do? What do you want me to say with you saying nothing at all? You chose, as it seems and so did I!" It were tears now, streaming down her pale skin and suddenly she turned, searching for his gaze while a deep brown told him what she couldn't express with the mere use of words. For a moment he reacted, only a slight shiver and his fingers reached for her, stopping in the middle of the process and then he looked away.

Just like that.

"In another time at another place, this would have been great. Good luck, Draco."  
A whisper that still lingers in the air even after the brown haired girl has vanished, leaving nothing behind but a destroyed hope for a better place to live in.

"Be careful, Granger."

"... Hermione."

But she never heard those words.

* * *

It' s pretty short, I know but then it's just the beginning. There will be more (even if you don't want it :P)


	2. Nothing ordinary at all

**Dear readers,**

I know it's been merely a day but then I got two write two whole days in a row (hurray.) For some german people wondering: Yes this is a story based upon my Oneshot "Welt aus grau" but this time I got a real story structured around it (it was lingering in my head for a long time now).

Anyway here is the first chapter because the Prologue was very short, indeed. (For a strange reason, fanfiction is eating my a few of my words because while asking word, it says the Chapter is about 1900 words but fanfiction just wants to grand me about 800. Not fair at all, I think.)

Oh and for all the people wondering: Yep I stuffed my second chapter into the first one so it is just one chapter now ;) I like it better like this :D

**Disclaimer:** Got to tell you the truth. I am Pansy. Pugface Pansy. It's not my story but I am nosy so I know everything. Nevertheless it still belongs to J.K Rowling. Everything.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

It was Friday. Again.

Letting her heavy book fall upon the table beside her, she silently got up, her feet as heavy as her book has been while her eyes were cast down to avert anyone coming her way.

"I am going now." Nothing more, nothing less. Merely four little words, leaving behind nothing but a sour taste and a dark haired boy who stared after his friend, even after she was long gone.

And there she was, wandering the corridors. Again. She knew she was early for she always was, but then she simply did not care at all. With her thoughts firmly fixed upon her next assignment she had to work on, she made her way down a few paths, hoping against better judgment that he would not be there today.

He wasn't, which wasn't anything new at all because he always was late. On purpose, of course.

Being a prefect had its perks, really it had, but dealing with what she had to simply was no fun at all. Even more so these days where everyone was watching her like she was some lost puppy. A forgotten doll on a dusty attic.

"My, my. Thinking again, are we Granger? Really, you should get yourself a life. But then it is you I am talking to, so who am I kidding?"

His drawl did make her jump, just a little bit and the heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach turned to ice the second he came eye to eye with her, a knowing smirk gracing his pale features.

"Your jokes are quiet old, you know" and with these words she turned, making a few steps into the darkness stretching before her and leaving him standing in the middle of the corridor, his smirk slowly turning to a scowl.

Malfoy, the bane of her existence and the reason she was dreading every sodding Friday evening, doing rounds with this heartless bastard who would never know the fine line of what to say and what not, even if it plastered itself right upon his snobby face.

For a second she thought she heard him murmur something but really, why should she care? Carrying on, she got lost in her thoughts again, not even hearing him coming nearer until she could feel his cold voice in the back of her neck, sending icy shivers down her spine.

"You know, I am wondering why you are still as arrogant as you are, considering the fact that even red dumb head Weasley does not consider you worthy his worthless time."

A little snicker caressed her bare skin but she merely walked a little faster, ignoring every word coming from the dirty mouth of his. There was hurt scratching at the surface of a raw feeling she desperately tried to lock away and even though there were words threaten to escape, she just stayed silent.

Silence was her new best friend and a far better way of getting on his nerves than fighting back.

"What a surprise, a non-talking Granger. Too bad. I would love to hear some more mudblood nonsense coming out of this big mouth of yours."

Anger, mixing with the ever present feeling of hurt cursing through her veins but she would not comply, not today. She was tired from crying, tired from missing her best friend, tired of being a bitch every time Ronald or his blonde sidekick-bunny showed up.

Simply tired.

There was no way in hell that she would start a fight with mister pureblood-perfection because today could easily be the day she would lose. To him. Malfoy. Really, that was no option at all.

So she got her wand out just to have anything to do and in the dull light flooding the corridor she could see little specks of dust dancing around merrily while behind her, his footsteps could be heard a little distance away. A Slow, drawling sound that was much too similar to his bored voice and really, it made her smile because only Malfoy was able to walk the same way he talked.  
It was rather funny, thinking of it and she sure as hell was happy for him not to see her slightly crooked smile.

Next thing she knew, she stopped. Stopped dead in her tracks, directly spoken, which made her unwanted partner ran into her unyielding back quite forcefully and her stumble a few steps forward until she could catch herself.

"Why, you stupid…"

"Psst!"

Her harsh tone cut right through his next words while she scooted closer to a door to her right. There it was again, a little scratching noise, coming from the room hidden behind said door.

"Really, Granger. Being a scared little…"

"Psst, I said" and her hand was waving impatiently in front of his face, brushing the soft fabric of his collar and shutting him up rather effectively while he made a big show of removing invisible dirt from his fine robes, his eyes a dark shade of grey – a sign of anger seething just underneath the surface of his calm appearance.

Here we go, she thought, counting to three and pushing the door open to reveal… nothing.  
Nothing at all. Just another empty classroom in a huge castle with a lot of empty classrooms.

Great thing.

With her breath being a little too fast and her eyes being fixed upon finding something, she stared into the darkness surrounding her and merely for lack of action she made a few steps into the room, exposing an old blackboard in front of the room.

Sniffelus stinks, it read in bold letters taking up most of the space. How poetic. She made another step to look at a small note being placed in the right corner and in a span of seconds, anger twisted her pale face and a rather unattractive blush crept upon her cheeks.

_RW + LB = love_

"Really?" Her voice nothing more than a whisper was full of sarcasm while her eyes were reduced to a mere slit, a dangerous sign for everyone to get lost. And fast.

"Wow there, Granger. You got us saved from being attacked by an old blackboard. Congratulations. I would love to celebrate with you, you know, but then I simply got some better things to do than wasting my precious time with playing dirty."

And it was a smug grin, spreading across his pale features because really, he loved to play dirty, but playing with dirt was just not his case. Not at all. Without waiting for an answer, he turned, striding right along the wall leading him back and out of the old moldy-smelling room.

At least, that was the plan or would have been if it were not for a certain girl raising her wand to make the door shut right in front of his surprised face.

There was a split second, merely a fleeting moment where her mind tried to talk a little sense into her but it was rage, hot and blinding, that made her speak because it was enough. Simply enough, even if it wasn't for Malfoy. Not at all.

"You think you are so much better than me, don't you, Malfoy?"

Spitting his name out as if it was a disease, she hesitated in making a step in his direction, her brown eyes ablaze with hidden feelings bursting right through her perfectly maintained façade. Outside, there was a little growling noise, mixing with the swirling clouds that were approaching fast.

"You got a lot of money that isn't yours, a little Death Eater daddy who is in jail because, honestly, he was too weak to fight a bunch of fifth years and an uptight mummy playing the perfect Death Eater housewife all the time. Really, you don't know how much I envy you. Not."

And there she was, breathing hard, her whole body slightly shaking while her chin was raised in a confident sort of way and her eyes were travelling over his face which was pale still but a had a nice touch of red on his cheeks that made her mouth twist into a cruel smile.

Somewhere deep down, her mind was screaming, pleading her to stop, stop right now before it could get any worse but it was a scream fading away without being heard at all, drowning in yet another growl of thunder.

"You don't know what you are talking about, so shut it, you mudblood whore. But wait, scratch the last part because really, who would want this dirty body of yours anyway? You are nothing Granger, nothing worth to be remembered. You will be a slave as every bloody mudblood will be and when the day comes, the only memory of you will be worth the dirt under my shoes."

The pale red stain was rising high upon his cheeks and like watching him through a fading veil she could see his hands trembling inches above his wand, ready to defend himself. Strangely enough, this made her drop her own while there were words coming from deep down, spilling a nasty feeling into an already polluted atmosphere.

"Right Malfoy, I got it. Since you are so keen to help yourself with the same lame insult time and time again, I am used to it. I am dirt, check. Not worth it, check. You want to know why this is absolutely hilarious? Never mind, I am telling you anyway. It's you, being worth nothing in the eyes of your so called Dark Lord. Maybe I am the dirt under your shoes but you're the one under his. That doesn't make any sense, living a scared life while believing in a world full of freedom because…"

And she paused, a disdainful laugh filling the empty space her voice left behind, only to be replaced by a hissing whisper, cutting through thick air:

"… it is you being a slave, Malfoy. Not me. You"

Tension was forming, a presence nearly palpable and it was not only darkness waving in and out between shadows but even more so a feeling of dread that overcame the whole scenery. An icy certainty that something would change was mixing with pure hate, filling every fiber of his being and making him grab his wand with an unsteady gesture, his eyes fixed upon the girl standing a few steps away.

"Be careful, Granger. Otherwise…"

"Otherwise what, Malfoy?" His name dripped scornfully from her lips, leaving a bitter taste in its wake while her face was distorted into a mocking smile. "You go fetch your big bad daddy, then? Oh, sorry, my mistake. Still in jail, I forgot. And your lot dares to call themselves the elite? Very funny, indeed"

It started raining then. Heavy drops filling an unnatural silence that was stretching between them like the lingering darkness had before but it was a mere second that the words needed to sink in, and then everything went by in a blur.

Him raising his wand. Her still standing motionless, waiting, smiling in that twisted sort of way while he hesitated, uncertain how to proceed.  
There was so much hate that he wasn't even able to form a coherent thought, so he closed his eyes, breathing in a slow rhythm, in and out, while his heart was racing away with as much force as the raindrops were thundering with against the cold glass of the high window in the middle of the room.

When he opened his eyes again, they were murderous.

"How very brave of you, Granger. This is what you bunch of Gryffindors are, brave, but it is easy, isn't it, with the threat being miles away. You never stood before him, because" and he made to pause, fear gripping his insides tightly and it took him every ounce of willpower to force the cold back into his low voice, "if you would be standing before him now, there would be none of your foolish bravery left. We will erase the cruel joke of nature that you are, because when it comes down, you are nothing more than an animal being able to talk, stealing our magic and worming your way into our lives."

Silence followed. She could only stare at him, her mouth slightly agape while outside, thunder was growling low in between the steady staccato of raindrops pattering onto solid ground.

"You really believe in this shit, don't you?" It was no question, more a statement but it made her crumbling façade crumble even more, so she stretched her arm into the semi darkness dividing the two of them from each other, a small tremble in her silent voice when she spoke again:

"What do you think there is in my veins? Dirt? Mud?"

She did not notice how her voice became louder, did not notice how she made a step in his direction, and another one still until, in a blur of rage, she seized his arm to bring it level with hers.

"The only thing different about our blood are some stupid blood cells, Malfoy." And her nails were digging painfully in the white of his flesh, leaving angry marks in their wake. "It's blood, red blood flowing. No dirt. No mud. Just blood"

With the last words spoken, her voice broke as did her fingers, literally, while giving his arm away in a swift motion. Her chest heaving unsteadily, she tried to blow a ludicrous curl out of her eyes but made a miserable job in doing so.

"Never dare touch me again, mudblood."

Out of the blue, his words swept her away, surprised by the venom driving the message home, so she could only stare at him, while he was visibly struggling with himself not to shut her up for sure.  
His eyes fixed upon the still red marks gracing his pale skin, he eventually looked up again, right when a glaring lighting tinted the room in an unnatural bright light.

It was a moment to remember, seeing the hate edged deep into the lines of his face, illuminated by the force of nature while she just stood, watching as if there was nothing more fascinating in the world.

"Just believe yourself, Granger. Believe, that we are the same but deep down, you know that you are merely a failure. A mistake nature had made in the process of creating just another animal to grace our lovely world"

And that did it, really, because she was so full of it. Full of his idiotic words. Full of his idiotic believes and his arrogant behavior as if he was better than everyone else around him. For a moment she tried to wonder why she let the situation become so out of hand but then she just didn't care anymore.

"A mistake?" It was more a scream than everything else, echoing through the room in a frightening manner.

"I tell you something, ferret boy, for your great Lord himself is a greater abnormity than everything I've ever seen. Risen from a few bones, no human yet no animal. He is merely a thing, a monster you are scared of, even now when he is miles away. Really, grow yourself a backbone! Why should you be scared? You of all people?"

But then, while still talking, there were little snippets of lost conversations forming in the back of her mind. Like a broken record they were replayed again and again, making her stumble upon her last question and it was a deep silence that followed.

Harry told them, again and again, about Malfoy being a Death Eater with a task set from the Dark Lord himself. And they laughed at him for being so foolish but really, was he foolish at all?  
She took a close look at the blonde before her, waiting for an answer but he seemed to have lost the ability to talk. White as a sheet, an appropriate way to describe the current color of his skin and it was then that she began to understand.

"Harry was right"

An all-consuming shock about her own thoughts and a sudden lack of fury deep within her made her stumble a few steps back, her arms hanging loosely beside her limp form while she could not stop searching for his gaze. He was stock still, a wild animal in a small cage, trapped by an invisible force and she wanted to run, really wanted to, but her legs wouldn't oblige.

"He gave you a task"

Again a mere sentence, no question. Why couldn't she stop talking?

"You are still a child. How could he?"

Her words drowned in the storm raging just outside the dainty glass of the window, nearly swallowing her words in a moment of thunder. She tried to speak up, but failed again, a strange numbness latching onto every muscle in her body.

Why wasn't he saying anything? Why didn't he tell her that she was wrong? She wanted him to. He had to. He had to tell her that she was crazy and so was Harry.

But he didn't.

"Say something, Malfoy"

Desperation and a hint of fear laced in between the feeble sound of her own voice.

"Why don't you say something?" a silent whisper while her thoughts were a colorful chaos invading her neatly organized world of black and white.

Harry, telling her of Malfoy being a Death Eater.  
Harry, telling them it was Malfoy who tried to harm someone by bringing a cursed object into school.  
Harry, hurting Malfoy while finding him crying in a girl's toilet.

And then, the last piece seems to fit just perfectly.

"You are failing. He gave you a task and you are failing"

With a bang the world stopped turning. Terrified brown made to come upon a frozen sea of silver, his eyes wide open in a fearful state of shock because honestly, how could she know?

It took him moments to recollect and it was a thunder, a loud crash that brought him back again, out of his peaceful non-existence just to face a truth he wasn't even able to face.

She knew.

And he simply did not know what to do, so he did what he could do best: Be angry.  
Without hesitation, he let the well-known feeling of hate took control over his shocked body, making him shake so badly that he had his hands clenched into the cold fabric of his robes just to make it stop, his knuckles a bright contrast to the deep black of his cloak.

The words were upon his lips long before he could think about voicing them, a tight pressure forcing his mouth apart to spill a secret he never wanted to have.

"Pity me, Granger?" Still shaking he made to take a step towards her. "As if I would ever be in need of your pity. As if you would ever understand. Understand the honor I am receiving." His voice was steadily raising and she had to overpower the urge to keep her ears shut, dreading every word coming from his pale lips as if they were poisoned.

"Just look at me, mudblood, look at who I am!" And with sheer force he pulled up his sleeve, an agitated gesture drowned by his own hoarse cry.

Then everything got silent. No storm howling behind closed windows, no voices speaking about unheard things, just her own breath echoing inside her head.

And the dark mark.

Black upon white.

A shade of grey in her world of black and white.

* * *

Here we go. All party. Maybe you are wondering why I am so much into action from the beginning but honestly, that's just me ;)

Oh and I would be very happy for some of you leaving me a review. It makes my day and I am sure you so want to make my day!


	3. Nothing but something still

**Hey there!**

Guess who's back, back again?

Here is the next chapter (I merged the first two chapters so it's a third chapter all over again, but with different content! Yay.)

**Disclaimer:** No Pansy I guess. That would be gross, really, but I won't tell you who I am. However here is an hint: I am not J.K Rowling. Unfortunately.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Some moments are simply meant to change everything.

How ridiculous it seemed that a few hours ago, everything she was worrying about was a stupid little boy having a fling with a stupid little girl that wasn't her.

But then, a few hours ago, she still knew where to draw a line because that was just what she did. Drawing lines. For someone thinking as complex as she did, this was a fairly simple way to get out of trouble.

It wasn't as if she did not know, for she did. But her world was busy enough as it was, so she decided to ease the lingering pain about her uncertain future by creating a world with rules of black and white. It was either this or that. Good or bad.

See, Malfoy merely was a scared little boy. A pawn of the evil rising his ugly face to the world. He was all angry, prejudiced and acting like the spoiled brat he was but she believed him to be too much of a coward to really make a step into the darkness designed for him.

But he did and he took a piece of black with him, leaving behind a shade of grey in her perfectly structured world because it just did not fit. Fit him. Fit the image she had.

And now, standing before him, she closed her eyes, tightly so, because when she was younger, she believed in closing her eyes to make things go away. When you don't see, you can't be seen.

However, the grey was still there, breathing in and out, a swooshing sound drowned by the heavy rain knocking on the fading glass.  
Outside, the last few rays of light were drifting into the tight blackness that was swallowing the purple clouds high above the sky.

She felt as if minutes had passed but it was merely a second, really, because he was speaking again, not being able to stop the hot fury from spilling from his lips.

"Now there, Granger. Lost your language, it seems. Tell me, where is your fucking Gryffindor courage? Or do you really want to tell me that you are scared now?"

It was a cruel laugh coming from a lost little boy and his outstretched arm began to tremble, a cramp drawing out the blue veins on his otherwise colorless skin.

"There you go, you and this big mudblood mouth of yours. You are right to be afraid of me Granger because it will be me who brings you down in the end. He has plans for me, great plans and it will be you who will be down on your knees before me, begging for the worthless life of yours."

And all of sudden, his voice died out, leaving nothing behind but the thunderous sound of the storm passing by and a brown eyed girl staring at him in silence.

This was a first time, it had to be, because there was not a single word she would have wanted to say, only one thought fighting its way through the grey chaos inside her head:

Some moments are simply meant to change everything.

She knew she should say something, anything, but it took her some time to understand. This was Malfoy and in any sense of normalcy, there was no reason for her to be afraid of him, because he was Malfoy, just Malfoy. He needed some creepy, brain-dead bullies to feel secure. He made fun of people who suffered because it was his way of coming to terms with his own life. In her structured world, this was Malfoy. He was like a barking dog, all angry and confused but still behind his fence of cowardice, hiding away from the fight to let other people take his role.

However, this world lay shattered before her trembling body.  
There were thousands of shards gleaming in the dust of a shadow of grey surrounding her and now she had to ask herself: Who was this boy standing before her?

It made no sense, no sense at all and darkness was invading the room like a blinding force, swallowing him completely and her eyes tried to refocus, finding him in the shadows that were creeping from edge to edge. She felt a touch of fear licking at the sidelines of her mind, a feeling which made the little hairs on the back of her neck rise in cold anticipation.

She had to get away.  
This was too much, in a very new and very different sort of way. It was no Ron kissing Lavender, no Harry telling them about splitting souls and immortal evil. It was a whole world being lifted out of its axes only to be turned upside down and left in a state of total chaos.

So she needed to get away from him and it was her body forcing her to run even before she could comprehend that she did the unthinkable: Fleeing from Malfoy.

A piercing shade of blonde blurred right in front of her, a blinding color tearing apart her world of grey and making her run even faster. With a deafening crash the heavy door clicked shut behind her and she ran. Still ran.

Corridors and pictures were fading away, a whirl of grey in a world of grey while any noises were drowned by her own heavy footsteps echoing through a thick silence. She didn't even know why she was on the run, because it was still just Malfoy. But not the Malfoy she knew. Not anymore.

It was then that she could feel him behind her, feel rather than hear. A soft vibration mixing with her own, clumsy one, making her stumble forward and she had to cough, her breath rushing away in a hurry while her feet where carrying her up the many flight of stairs leading to the astronomy tower.

With a sudden loud crash, her journey came to a forceful halt while her small body collided with a nearly unyielding piece of wood. Only a second later and with a low squeak, the door was pushed out of its angles to reveal the circular platform of the astronomy tower. The sudden loss of balance made her stumble again and in a moment of carelessness, she lost her footing and fell.

Her eyes closed, her senses became aware of the icy cold rain drowning her thin clothes and coating her pale cheeks with a small touch of rosé while she waited for the impact to come.

However it never came.

Instead she felt long fingers around her wrist, catching her before she could come in contact with the hard stone floor and lifting her up on trembling feet. Out of instinct, she looked up and brown eyes met grey ones, fear and desperation fixed in a moment made for eternity.

Then she broke away from him, brushing past him only to push him away from her tiny frame while she stumbled right into the pounding rain that was mercilessly drowning her in a flood of water.

"Get away from me, don't you dare touch me!" Her voice was much to shrill in her own ears and just to make him understand, she backed away some more, leaving a huge space between the two of them.

"Granger…" he tried to get closer while his former attitude of rage and hate seemed to have crumbled upon the cold stone floor beneath his feet but her next word startled him enough to make him stop.

"No!" she nearly screeched, a cry fading away in the harsh whispers of wind and rain and the little drops were painting thousands of tears upon her rosy cheeks while her expression told him about the chaos reigning inside her head.

"Granger, listen…" he tried again, only to be interrupted by a trembling wand of the very same brown eyed girl who now was with her back to the balustrade, her hair a screaming mess flowing right along the stormy waves of wind passing by.

It was a scary sight to behold and it made the following words so much more threatening:

"Don't come near me, Malfoy or I will kill you. I swear, I will" and she did not know whether she was more shocked from the truth laced between these few words or him, looking at her with his eyes wide open.

It was still raining though and she began to tremble, a biting cold clawing at her exposed skin and finding its way inside her cloak to punctuate her neck and arms with thousands of icy needles. Her eyes were holding his stare, a steady brown drowned in confusion.

"You…" He stumbled upon his own words, "you won't… ", but he did not finish his sentence because in all honesty, he did not know anymore. The unspoken question was floating in the air between them but neither seemed possible to answer.

She won't, right? She would never, never ever kill someone. She won't.  
But then, and it was the first time she really dared to think about it, she would. There was a war at the edge of her world, looming in a visible distance and she would, because it would be either living to kill or dying while resisting the irresistible.

"I..." she stammered and while she searched for something to answer, she also searched for this feeling of rage that had been building inside her for the last hours but she came out empty handed. No words. No rage. Nothing but a strange nothing and a lingering feeling of despair and sadness.  
She tried to look him in the eye but found that she couldn't anymore because looking at him made her insides squirm with fear and sorrow, with anticipation for the things to come. So instead she stared down to the ground, a pattern of grey where the raindrops were painting little dots onto the dark stone.

"Hermione", he whispered and there was a touch of something in his words that made her look up again. Her name coming from his lips did sound wrong in so many ways but it only worsened the sadness worming its way through her body.

His face was set in stone, not a single emotion etched into his pale skin but his eyes. His eyes were so full of fear, full of unspoken words and she broke. Right this moment, she broke. For him. The first salty tear was streaming down her cheek, mixing with the rain that was masking her pain.

She closed her eyes and tried to reason but failed because she just did not know why she was feeling so incredible sad. Maybe it was because of her world, lying in shambles before her. Maybe it was because she had to realize that this was war, even though she was behind the wall of a school she had been calling home for more than five years. And maybe it was because of Malfoy, who was nothing more than a pawn in a game that was much too big for him.

Because he was still a child as was she.

They were children and even though it should be easy, there was no black and white anymore. It was all grey and confusing and so she cried while above her, the clouds followed suit.

It was then, with her eyes still closed, that she felt cold, insecure fingers grasping her own ones, holding tight but instead of running away, which should have been her only option, she stayed, her body numbed.

"I don't know what to do."

His whisper was a cold breeze near her ear, a whiff caressing the moist little hair on the back of her neck, causing her to shiver beside his body. She felt his warmth pressed against her, his cheek nearly touching her own and her fingers were gripping his even tighter while her breath was deflagrating from her mouth in small cloudlets.

"I don't want to, really. I don't, not anymore"

"Then don't!" And her words cut right through his voice, a fierce determination underneath each syllable. She could hear her own tears, a slight quiver while she spoke but she did not care.

"You don't have to do what he wants from you. You don't!" She wanted him to see so she opened her eyes, searching his for any signs of comprehension and found a stormy sea of fear and despair drowned in icy grey.

She brought her face nearer, trying to understand what was in front of her and as if through a veil she could feel him lift his other arm, soft fingers that were caressing her wet cheek slowly while she could only stare at him.

"You are crying. Why are you crying?" His voice broke and the question was hanging in the air between them, unanswered.

"I envy, you know" he started again a small and sad smile gracing his otherwise set features, "I tried to hate you because I was told to. And when your ancestry wasn't enough reason anymore, I started hating you for your life."

While he spoke she could sense his fingers trembling against her cold skin and she felt like the air around her was trying to suffocate her with the truth his words were spilling from his soul. It was too much but nevertheless she was paralyzed.

"You may live the life you want to whereas my life was laid out before me the moment I was born. I have nowhere to go, only the path chosen for me" and while all these words were leaving his mouth he found that he did not care. She was a muggle. She was the enemy, really. He hated her because that's what it's supposed to be between the two of them. And here he was, breaking in front of a stranger because all in all, what did he know about Hermione Granger?

It was pathetic.

However he found that he could not care less and while he thought that maybe he should stop, he talked, still.

"I want what you have because you don't have to be scared. You have friends. Family. You are not alone." The last sentence a mere whisper was drowned in the thunder rolling high above them and they still stared at each other, a warm honey-brown melting the sea of icy grey.

In her rational world, all dominated by black and white, she would have been running right know because he was black and she was white and there was a line between them, marking good and evil. However she had one foot on his side while he was part of her side and all that was left was a shade of grey, capturing the both of them in a moment of utter insanity.

He was breathing hard now and she could feel his hot breath brushing against her lips. Too close. He was much too close but instead of leaning away, she felt him pulling her even closer and there was no resistance, none at all.

Her mind was screaming at her because it was Malfoy holding her but her heart was set to beat for him, only this one time and only for him so her eyes fluttered close while the unsteady rhythm of her own breath was echoing inside her ears.

There was one more second still while his eyes graced her soft features and then his lips touched hers lightly, a fleeting contact that left a tingling sensation where his skin was meeting hers and his mouth was leaving, travelling along her chin to stop right beneath her earlobe.

"Thank you."

A mere whisper and then he was gone.

With her eyes still closed, she simply stood there in the pouring rain, left with a sense of total chaos and confusion and a dozen of questions inside her head.

Why? It was the most important and yet mostly unanswered question that was screaming insanity from every direction of her mind.

It was a kiss, it really was but she still hoped to wake up anytime soon because there was no such universe in which she would kiss Malfoy – or let him kiss her.

Except there was because he had kissed her.

Opening her eyes, she let out a small groan and even though she tried not to think about it, she understood that now, she was a part of a secret she never wanted to know in the first place.  
And she had to do anything, everything to make him see because deep down she had this feeling that maybe there was a reason for insanity.

Maybe she was supposed to find out to help him.

Or maybe she was simply stupid but then, this was no option at all.

* * *

All action again - but we have to go a little slower from now on ._."

And I would be very happy to receive a review - or two. Really! :D


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